Fat Kid Is Knowledgeable

So, FK has the last final of the final season. As in the absolute last one the school offers. This wouldn't be so painful if it was a legit final...but no...I've had the questions the prof is going to ask for a month and am meeting with some people in a half hour to review our answers. So rather than it being a pure test, it is a pain in the ass. Regardless, FK is awake before noon--something she usually avoids (one burns more calories the longer they are awake...theoretically). And FK decided to watch the local news before heading out. Miami has some of the WORST news FK has ever encountered -- and that is including the government censored news in Saudi Arabia. Miami apparently enjoys getting its news from busty women in synthetic fabrics who can't form a coherent thought. While FK loves to hear about Cyndy got locked out of her car today, FK likes a bit more substance...The weatherwomen are by far the best what with the botox, the EE boobs and little else. If it isn't guyabera or cafe cubano related, it doesn't get reported in Miami. Here's to you, shittiest news ever!!

Fat Kid Pans White Noise

Given the Grouper and Fat Kid's general allergy to movement and energy exertion of all types, they are big movie buffs. Not the deep "I found Hiroshima, Mon Amourto speak to me on multiple levels about the transcendence of human emotion over destruction," but rather, the "I heard Joe Dirt II was coming out on Tuesday and I need it" kind of movie buff. Our blockbuster list is 70 films long--perhaps 2 which have ever won critical acclaim. The absolute WORST movie ever (besides "because of winn dixie") is by far "White Noise".
Coincidentally, White Noise stars the worst actor of all time--Michael Keaton. FK noticed Michael K. was born in Corapolis, PA...are you sure it isn't more like the obvious joke, Sir Maker of Shitty Films?
You may remember him from such cinematic classics as:
Mr. Mom

Multiplicity

Jack Frost

But Fat Kid what about Beetlejuice and Batman?
In response to Batman, FK offers you Batman II.


And Beetlejuice? Everyone knows Catherine O'Hara carried the movie.

FK has no desire to rehash the shit for plot that was White Noise. Suffice to say, its predictable and what you think happens will. The only bright spot in this lamefest was seeing the crap beaten out of Mr. Mom. Sure you can handle diapers, Mikey, but can you handle demons? All sources point to no....stop making films.