GD Miami!

FK and T. Grouper have graduated and are saying adios to the suckiest city in America. Enjoy one of the latest articles from Ms. Kripalani!

Three people shot in Miami Gardens
By JASMINE KRIPALANI
jkripalani@MiamiHerald.com

Three people were shot early this morning in Miami Gardens, but no one died, Miami-Dade police spokeswoman Joanne Duncan said.

However, police have not released the reason for the altercation that ended up with someone firing a shotgun at 3:30 a.m. near M&M Food Market at Northwest 37th Avenue and 211th Street.

Two victims who were men were airlifted to Jackson Memorial Hospital, while a woman was taken to Parkway Regional Medical Center in North Miami because of a gunshot wound to her buttocks, Duncan said.
Fk doesn't even know where to begin. Mock amongst yourselves.

My What a Tangled Web

North Miami City Attorney surrenders to police
BY DAVID OVALLE
dovalle@MiamiHerald.com

Seven months after authoring a sworn statement admitting he had sex with an underage teenager, North Miami City Attorney Barry Kutun surrendered to police after detectives sought his arrest Tuesday on related charges. Four plainclothes detectived had tried to arrest him Tuesday at North Miami City Hall but he was not in his office.

The married former state representative is accused of having sex for money with a 16-year-old in a tryst arranged by a Hollywood woman named Roberta Orenbuch.

Hollywood police arrested Orenbuch last month for arranging sexual encounters for the teenager.

Orenbuch signed an affivadit -- notarized by Kutun's city-paid paralegal at City Hall -- which was later leaked to police and reporters.

In the Oct. 28, 2005 affidavit, Orenbuch says she arranged for Kutun to have sex with teen about eight times, telling Kutun the girl was 18.

State law allows a person to be charged with having sex with a minor, even though they did not know he or she was underage.

Kutun briefly left his $170,000-a-year post at North Miami City Hall, but had returned despite the buzz of the scandal.

Detectives executed a search warrant in January. They found sexually explicit photos.

Kutun admitted to having sexing relations with a 17-year-old, taking photos of them having sex and e-mailing them to Orenbuch, according to the warrant.

The affidavit was prepared to protect himself from a friend of Orenbuch was allegedly blackmailed the attorney with the photos. Kutun paid the man $2,000.

"Turd Smuggler"
FK likes that he was allowed to return to his job. On the other hand, FK is in the legal field and 170k a year would be a pay bump. And FK would promise to stay away from adolescents in her sex for hire scheme...at least for her first year of office. FK hopes to God, that after the crap the Bar puts new applicants through, this turd smuggler gets disbarred. Here's seeing you at the country club Barry!!!
Note: Oh those wacky detectiveds!! FK doesn't know what sexing relations are but she is definately interested
Note 2: What kind of crappy lawyer prepares an affidavit that he keeps at work that completely incriminates himself? Has Bar-Bar never heard of a safety deposit box? And yet he paid 2k to some schmoe who is somehow involved in child prostitution? And Kuton ADMITS to sleeping with a 17 year old but 16 is apparently too young for him? What an idiot.

Downer of a post

Ever since FK left New Orleans, she has felt a strong desire to return. However, post Hurricane Katrina, FK feels like she has gone through some kind of bad city break up. Fat Kid thinks of her old haunts often but now they are twinged with almost regret that she can't go back and recapture it. Even places that remain after the storm are different in Fk's mind somehow. Most of Fk's friends have returned and reported positive things about Nola recovery. But Fat Kid just isn't feeling it. It seems like too much has happened, too much has changed for FK to go back and even relate. FK gets jealous sometimes, when friends tell stories about college or returning to their alma maters for the weekend. Great, your memories, places, majority of friends are there and its just like you left. FK isn't sure she'll come back around to accepting how things are. Just seems sad that somewhere full of such good experiences is now tied to something so horrible and disappointing.

v.


And like a bad break up, Nola and Fk have decided to see other cities. However, FK keeps running into New Orleans. Every time she opens a magazine or visits cnn, there is New Orleans, flaunting herself right in front of her. And others keep talking about Nola, like their booze soaked "tittyfest 2000" tour experiences grant them the authority to talk about New Orleans...intimately. So Fk's feelings of seperation, exploration and loss are now mixed with jealousy. Should FK go to couple's counseling? Cut off all ties? Who knows but it is screwed up.