Annoyed Fat Kid

FK is extremely po'ed. Miami is a city of incompetents who seem to only reward incompetence. While douchiness is at an all time high in Miami, competence is at an all time low. FK can't wait to get out of this freaking city.

Fat Kid Hates All-Hotels.Com

Do not use All-Hotels.Com. From their 100% pay up front policy to their fax us to verify your reservation after you have paid and emailed us rule, this website is ridiculous. Did I mention that they have you pick up your key from the FURY HUT? While I'm sure the hut is suitably "extreme", how damn hard is it to take our money in exchange for a hotel room? What was to be a weekend get away with the Grouper to the Keys has turned into the hotel booking from hell. Ridiculous.
This is what we should be thinking:


Rather, this is what the experience has done:

Television is Cool

After a week of no tv, Fat Kid has cable!!! While FK appreciates the false hopes BellSouth gave her with its appointment breaking, Fat Kid is glad the ordeal is over. By Ordeal, Fat Kid means the Grouper had to deal with it while she pouted at being unable to watch Spongebob (the show, not the crappy movie).

Fat Kid has taken up biking and Sponge Bob loving!!
Just Kidding...Fat Kid remains loyal to her steady diet of Burger King's Chicken Fries, the most useless food invention ever (who did the market research on this?)

The Grouper further eliminated FK's pouting topics by installing wireless in the house. Perhaps Fat Kid can complain that she got a freaking parking ticket issued with a stated time BEFORE she parked at the meter. The Grove blows. Fat Kid is glad she is now living in the less restrictive Gables.

Fat Kid Loves Polyester, Not Wal-Mart

Fat Kid loved Wal-Mart in New Orleans. On more than one occasion, FK might have gotten drunk prior to a Wal-Mart trip and enjoyed their fine apparel. Several times, Fat Kid drank in the Wal-Mart Hard Liquor Section. It was a glorious and fun way to spend an afternoon.

Fat Kid hates Wal-Mart in Miami. Not only are you apt to lose your life in the hair care products section, they are all old, dirty and reeking of unwashed babies. And, Miami only has 3 to serve the greater Miami-Dade metro area. Which is Fan.Tas.Tic. Miami has taken a once beloved treasure of Fat Kid and desecrated it. Thanks Miami...I hope to do the same to you one day!

Move In Day

We're moving into a new house!! We're moving into a new house!!!

It rocks. Fat Kid loves it. Fat Kid also loves everyone helping her and the Grouper move in. So freakin excited.

The living room!

The kitchen!!!

Fat Kid is Relieved

Fat Kid thought she had the lamest blog ever. FK was proven wrong upon stumbling upon:
LAME!
This is by far the gayest site known to man. Hopefully, one day "Loki" will realize it's owners are retarded and do what must be done -- it would be a mercy killing. Do the owners think this is cute? That someone thinks their retarded cat somehow learned the glory that is cognitive thinking and typing? Gross. Fat Kid is dumber for having read this site. FK hope the Loki magnet blanket burns.

Fat Kid Loves Chicken Kitchen

Fat Kid loves, loves, loves Chicken Kitchen. Fat Kid hates stupid miami drivers who park willy nilly.

BOO!

Actually, Fat Kid just intensly dislikes Miami.

SUCKS!!!!

A Fat Kid Salutes You

Few other countries have such heartfelt patriotism as America. Fat Kid can personallysay more than a few times, the national anthem has caused a lump in her throat (no, it wasn't a wayward chicken wing). Being away from America on July 4th is sort of like celebrating your birthday alone -- it shouldn't bother you as much as it does but the feelings of homesickness and loneliness are there. For my 2 readers, regardless of your political leanings, Fat Kid asks you to think about what those fighting over in Iraq and Afghanistan are feeling on this July 4th weekend. While we are pigging out on hotdogs and beer, soldiers who aren't even out of their teens are getting shot at. Maybe take some time out to drop a line or mail a package to some via www.anysoldier.com . So, here is Fat Kid's salute to them!!

FIREWORKS!!

FAT KIDS DRINKING!!

DYED POODLES!!

Fat Kid in Disbelief

Maybe I have watched too much MTV today as I wallowed in my sickness, but this talk of making Pope John Paul II a martyr is ridiculous. A martyr? Don't get me wrong, I think Pope John Paul II is a great guy. He was shoved down my throat daily at generic Catholic High and I still was like he seems pretty good (ignoring his views on premaritial sex, birth control, the Holocaust, women's roles in society, the priest sex-scandals, and being Polish). Dying of a horrible disease doesn't make you a martyr, it makes you human. According to the American Dictionary, martyrs are:
1. One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
2. One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
3.
1. One who endures great suffering: a martyr to arthritis.
2. One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy.
Ok so definition one is out because Lord knows we can euthanize our dogs but not our loved ones. Definition two: ok he devoted his life to the Church but as was his profession. My arteries are getting clogged in the furtherance of my belief in Cheetos, you don't see me getting cannonized. Definition 3(1) seems little used...and ok u can get respect but adulation as something more than human? And finally, Definition 3(2: i think this is more in regards to "quit being a martyr" such as the Grouper is feeling towards my current illness. Further, if Pope John Paul is a martyr for anything he endured, it would be for living in Krakow, Poland. That is perhaps the most miserable place Fat Kid has ever been to. God, Poland sucks.