Viva La Nina Gorda!

With the bar over, FK can return to mocking Miami....Here is a very appropriate article. Worst. Lawyer. Ever.


CRIMINAL JUSTICE
I was insane, defendant/lawyer says
A Miami Springs man was in court to defend himself against attempted murder charges, pleading insanity.
BY SUSANNAH A. NESMITH
snesmith@MiamiHerald.com
HIS DEFENSE: Jon Kuiken defends himself in court against three charges of attempted murder.
PATRICK FARRELL/MIAMI HERALD STAFF
HIS DEFENSE: Jon Kuiken defends himself in court against three charges of attempted murder.

It has been said that a man who has himself for a lawyer has a fool for a client. But is he a crazy fool?

Jon W. Kuiken is testing the proposition this week, representing himself in his attempted murder trial.

His defense: insanity.

Kuiken is charged with shooting his ex-girlfriend, a friend of hers and her brother. He admits he did it -- even says he's deeply sorry. But he denies responsibility, claiming a car accident caused ``an unexpected mental health breakdown.''

''The brain injury I was unknowingly carrying made me a time bomb waiting to go off,'' he told the jury during opening arguments in Miami-Dade Circuit Court Wednesday.

Prosecutor Herbert E. Walker III countered: ``This is a man who had murder on his mind. At no point did he think he was shooting the devil, the Antichrist or the Easter Bunny.''

Before the witnesses testified, Circuit Judge Israel Reyes warned Kuiken to behave in the courtroom.

''You're an in-custody defendant charged with the attempted murder of these people, and I'm not going to let you get close to them,'' he said.

Kuiken's ex-girlfriend, Lisette Sanchez, arrived to testify with her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail that almost covered the bald spot left where part of her skull was shot off in February 2000.

She fought back tears as she described that night: having dinner with friends, running into Kuiken at the restaurant, asking a friend to accompany her home because she was scared of him.

PHONE CALL

Walker played a tape from her answering machine, with Kuiken demanding she pick up the phone and warning that her friend better leave. The tape ended with the sound of her door being kicked down.

Sanchez stepped in front of the jury to show how far away Kuiken was when he pointed the gun at her and fired -- just a few feet.

''When I came to, he was rushing out the door,'' she said, clasping her hands tightly. ''I dragged myself to the bedroom with my hand on my head because the blood was pouring into my eyes,'' she said.

Sanchez said that she didn't know that her friend, Fabio Rodriguez, had also been shot or that Kuiken was headed to her brother's house to shoot him.

When Walker showed her pictures of her injuries, she broke down sobbing.

Jurors waited while she wiped her eyes, seemingly riveted to her testimony.

Then the sound of crying across the room drew their attention. Kuiken, who had been wiping tears away for several minutes, lost control, weeping at the defense table.

The hardest part for both the victim and accused were the photos of Sanchez's bloody handprint when she dragged herself to the bedroom phone to call 911.

Finally, Kuiken stood to cross-examine the woman he said he loved -- and tried to kill.

''Lisette, if I was represented by counsel, I suppose they would want to ask you questions, but you've suffered enough. I just don't have the heart to ask you a question,'' he said quietly, still wiping away tears.

He sat down but got up again to ask if she remembered him going to a doctor after the car accident he was in a few weeks before the shooting.

TURNS AWAY

She turned away from him and faced the jury.

''I was aware the defendant went to a chiropractor for his knee injury,'' she said.

''I have no further questions, and I'm sorry,'' he said and sat down.

Today, Kuiken is expected to call a doctor to testify about his mental state during the shooting.

If he loses the case, he faces life in prison.